IN THIS MOMENT

"Curiosity is a form of wonder.....Being in wonder is to be in love with life."
Jill Badonsky-The Nine Modern Day Muses-

I have gone through periods of my life when I have been deliriously happy.  I thought of myself as a happy woman. Mostly, I have been love with life. I now believe that I was totally in love with motherhood and you, my beautiful children, and I wasn't gonna let anything get in the way of that.  I was present. I was a presence at your schools and other activities.  I was a presence in your lives.  To be your mother was my greatest wish.

Recently I have been feeling invisible.  Nobody sees me, nobody hears me. In general, I believe people, especially male people, avoid looking at women "of a certain age."  I am curious about this. Some days I feel like cellophane.  People look right through me.  People talk when I am already talking.

I recognize that LIFE goes on and we all need to live in our own individual, glorious present.  Yet sometimes I get lonely. I miss those times of wonder when my children were young.  I cannot believe that I am suddenly experiencing empty nest syndrome at this age. I am a great-grandmother for Lucy's sakes!!! I feel empty.  I feel lost and alone.  I wish I wasn't an only child.  I am glad I gave you siblings.

  At this moment my honeys, I miss you like chocolate!

I WONDER if you ever feel this way.  Write me if you do.

Namaste.