JANUARY AWAKENINGS

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to all alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Step 12 form the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous-


I began my 12 step journey in 1991 in Estes Park Colorado. A woman I worked with at a downtown pottery shop ask me if I would like to go with her to a meeting of compulsive over eaters.  I went and I was amazed.  The people in the meeting shared about experiences with food, and until then I thought I was the only one who had such thought and feelings.


Since that time I have begun to study the twelve steps in a variety of meetings:
-I began to realize that I ate to comfort myself when nothing else could numb that hurt.
-I behaved controlling and was an over achiever because in my childhood alcoholic  home there was no organization, no cleanliness, no perfection!!
-I realized  I was trying to fix everyone around me, but not myself!


It was not until yesterday's meeting, a meeting of all addictions for women only, that I finally "received" the twelfth step.  It's like I had read and studied all the other steps but never really got to the last one.  Duh!


I read that I should not waste time trying to persuade an alcoholic, over-eater, or whatever to stop.  I heard that if he wants to quit for good he will go to any extreme to do so.  I read that the family should not hysterically plead with him to do so. Double duh!


The best words I heard, yesterday, were from another member with whom I have much in common.  She said,"Let God be in charge and I will show up differently!" Amen and namaste'.