HEALING LAYERS

It is countdown for the old year and the beginning of the new.  I'm pulling out old journals to reminisce.  In keeping with the "morning pages rules, " I have not read them since I began decades ago.

I believe the time has come. Let's see if I have become wiser through all this writing or just older.

The idea of writing morning pages is to write, in a stream-of-thought fashion, some call it flow writing.  You put your distracting thoughts down on paper, longhand, to keep them from rattling around in your head all day!  It works for me.  WHEN I do it!

I invoke you to write.  I plead with you to ask for what you need: emotionally, sexually, financially and spiritually.  Ask with a soft voice and an open heart.  I promise you, the universe is listening.

bigLOVE

HEALING LAYERS

For several months I have been called to be part of a reiki healing group.  Our leader is LeeAnn my first reiki master and it is a privilege to be among these many powerful healers from all over the world.

Today, I was guided to write some of the thoughts that have come to me during this time.  One of us is in hospice now and I have this strong feeling that I do not want to let her go.  Immediately upon thinking this, I saw her surrounded with purple lotus blossoms and a light as bright as the full sun.  I send that light to her and to you.

I also received the thought that I , like many of us, are so hard and tough.  Perhaps we have had to be. But now we don't. I believe we can release that energy to the universe now, to transform into something soft and beautiful.  And then we can invite ease and beauty and healing grace in it's place.

Healing layers are upon us, surrounding us, and our hearts can fly beyond hardship, into the star filled universe.

Namaste.

FRIENDSHIP

"It is through my friends that I can see out into the world and back into myself."
December 14th reading from Daily Affirmations, for adult children of alcoholics.

We have had a few friends visit this December.  I wish I had remembered to take pictures of them all.  Randy and Mona came by on Christmas eve and Kakie and Larry a few days before.

Early in the month my Becky came to paint her Christmas cards.  I LOVED having her in my studio.

A few days later Greg Guirard came by to show us his beautiful burled cypress.

 

 

Visitors bring good, creative energy to my studio and I love that!

I wish you a good, happy and creative New Year.

Namaste'

BASEBALL AND WINTER

"A true fan weathers every game."  LULLABY-- a Spencer novel by Ace Atkins.

As I continue to enjoy the frosty days and nights of 2012, thanks to Spencer I can look forward to another baseball season in the not too distant future.  Come on Astros and Rockies!

Love you.

LAYERS

Yesterday was our coldest winter morning so far.  This is how I spent my quiet time with layers from some of the beloved women in my life:
            The deep green on my shoulder a crocheted throw from my Texas Kim
            The gold and topaz robe from my Michigan Kim.
            The ecru hand crocheted throw made by my mom or maybe even her mom, Josie. I 
            wish I knew          

With smudge on my lap and a Robert Parker book to read, I'd say my layers are making me very content.

Nameste'

LAYERS

I am blessed to have many groups in my life.  Daughter groups, artist groups, antiquing groups, reiki groups and woo-woo groups. It is of this last that I wish to speak.

This past week I was invited by an old friend to celebrate the winter solstice at her home.  I loved the idea, but am always reluctant to leave at night, and especially this Friday night which was surrounded by other activities.

I also had to commit by the Wednesday preceding.  But I could not resist!

Upon entering her courtyard strewn with pink petals, I knew I belonged here.

At the celebration I was invited to cast into the fire all the things that did not serve me in my life, after which I invited the things I now wish for.  In my asking I asked for "MORE healing, wholeness, love and creativity."

The "more" part made me realize that I am on the path where I belong.

I invite you to look inside yourself and cast away the things that no longer serve you.  Begone you!
And then invite all the things that will make you the person you are meant t be.

Namaste'

LAYERS

I have been remiss in my posting of late, due in part to my "making" Christmas.  My two "patients" are healing, albiet slowly.

"If you did not have love in you, you could not be alive and exist as a human being.  If you removed all the layers that are wrapped around you, peeling them off one by one, you would be left with an eternal light of consciousness that is made of pure love.

Your life journey entails peeling away the layers until you reach that core of you, which is absolute love."
             The Secret Daily Teachings, day 331
              Rhonda Burne

BONJOUR

Although I can't find my idea files for favorite Christmas ideas and recipes yet, I have sorted my cds.  Christmas is in a gold box.

Listening to my first favorite: Harry Connck Jr.

"Happy HO HO HO to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONJOUR

I just learned from Hungry Girls website that today is national french-toast day!  Well, gee why were not we Cajuns notified?   Or us Texans?  We are the absolute professionals in this luscious dish.  Although she stuffs it with stuff, I am a purist and stick with the tried and true.  In Louisiana it's called Pain Perdue=lost bread, and was a use for leftover or stale bread. Another frugal Cajun trick.

Get some butter sizzling in a wide iron skillet.

In shallow bowl whip 1 egg, and add 1 cup of milk and whip some more.  Sprinkle cinnamon over milk mixture.

Then dip 2 slices of white...bread, one at a time and cook side by side in skillet until brown, flip them, brown the other side and put on plate.

I always sprinkle white sugar over my French Toast but my Cajun husband pours pancake or Steen's syrup over his Pain Perdue.

This has been a nice reminder of a favorite childhood treat.

I hope you try it.

Bonjour!

OUR SACRED SELVES

You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your own joy and in your days of abundance.  Kahlil Gibran


This morning, as I was sitting to write and read and pray, I looked up and really noticed the two votive candles I have been burning lately.

I realized that one is a luscious blue-green hobnail, the kind that my Aunt Julie used to have in her wonderful house and the other is purple, my mothers favorite color.  It seems to me these symbolize the two women who raised me.  Instead of no mother, I have two!

 

 

Today I am so grateful and I live in abundance!

Namaste.

 

 

 

 

 

MY SACRED SELF

I am feeling very FILLED today and for once I am not talking about my tummy.  My heart is full and my soul is happy. 

Yesterday I completed the 21 day Abundance on line with Deepak Chopra.  I could feel everyone else with me on that new kind of voyage.  I was in solitude, yet surrounded by love.

Today, I will again share a healing reiki meditation with light-workers all over the globe.  I have received several images through this sharing of the gift of love. And I am grateful.

 

                                                                      Namaste.

OUR SACRED SELVES

I am blessed with having many young mothers in my life.  I think being a mom or a dad gives us a chance to stop  and play.  We get to dance with our own inner child again, as well.  And take care of them and love them.  Nurture them, read to them, sing to them.

I see these young people making good healthy choices.  It makes me so proud.

I remember many good times with my own children.  Often, I felt like one of them, and romped and played, danced and sang.

And I am grateful.
Namate.

OUR SACRED SELVES

We had a quiet but lov-ly holiday.  Sharing turkey legs and cranberry sauce shaped like a can-can't be beat!

 Papa and I combined old recipes to make BREAD PUDDING:

We combined 2 cups milk with one can of evaporated milk.  Some recipes call for cream, but I believe the old Cajuns would have saved their fresh cream for coffee. Then we tore up a small loaf of real French bread (baguette) and let it soak in the mixture for an hour. 

We beat 2 eggs with 1/2 cup sugar and 2 t vanilla and poured this over bread mixture and mixed it well.  We then poured that into a baking pan that had been lined with 2T melted butter.  It baked slowly, 300 degrees, for at least an hour and a half.

The sauce we poured over it when it was still hot was:  1/2 c butter with 1/2 c sugar and 1 cup evaporated milk.  This was stirred well over low heat and then poured over bread pudding. It turned out yummy!

Our newest family members came by that afternoon.

 

 And we love them a lot

 !!!!

 

 

Then:

 

The next day I had a painting party

 

for two enthusiastic young Picassos!!

 

 

Today I am pooped, but HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



 

OUR SACRED SELVES

This morning I have done everything I have always hoped to do.  I have played with art with no deadline and no expectation.  In my recently new  "retirement" I have never worked harder or been happier.

Later, I will share a turkey leg, rice dressing, and cranberry sauce shaped like a can, with my nearest loved ones.

I pray for you grateful wishes, and everything that you already are. Beautiful and wonderfully complete.

Namaste'

MY SACRED SELF

I have recently resurrected JOSIE'S ANTIQUE GARDEN, the mystery I have been writing, and rewriting......since 1990.  It is so much fun to read the pages I wrote so long ago, and change the vehicles to more recent ones and even change one of my main characters age so she can be twenty-three instead of thirty-three.  Big difference there!

The biggest thing I have noticed is that Josie is the me I wish to be.  She is gentle and kind and she takes things calmly and proceeds to figure them out. 

I want to be that person.  I think maybe I am almost there. I "heard" me tell myself in a half-dream last night, "Treat yourself gently, Ros."  I will work on that....no, play on that, today.

Namaste.

MY SACRED SELF

Sunday mornings, I've begun again listening to Prairie Home Companion:

"A state that loves Willie Nelson, is a state that has come to terms with it's own contradictions."             -Garrison Kellor

From this little Texas girl, sick with a cold but happy in her pj's, 'NUF SAID.

OUR SACRED SELVES

       

                     This is our new neighbor,
                     out gardening on her deck.
                     We love her BIG, BIG!

                      Namaste.

MY SACRED SELF

November first, two-thousand and twelve.  Tomorrow I will start the 71st year of my life.  My INTENTION is to grow leaner and browner and kinder.  I will laugh more and cry enough.  I will DANCE and  SING my way through the rest of my life, creating art and fun and healing light around me like an ever widening spiral of love.

I ask Your help to choose these things everyday and sometimes many times a day.

Thank You for Your help my God, my angels and my guides.
Thank You.

I will add to this my daily addition to my journaling, that is on the days that I am wise enough to write in one:   
Fill my cup to 110%, thank You
Charge my shields to 100%, thank You
I live in my integrity, I speak my truth, I surrender my will to God's will in the co-creation of my life, thank You.
Namaste.

(If you decide to journal, be sure to write in long-hand, pen or pencil to paper. That personal connection is the miracle.)

OUR SACRED SELVES-family

 

 

 

We were privileged to have many Bernards at our last Sunday table.  Seafood gumbo and all the trimmings.

I am reminded of my new "favorite" author, Nancy Martin.  In this, No Way To Kill a Lady, the first book I have read by her, she says, "Over the last couple of years, I had decided that if you find yourself in a dysfunctional family, the most sensible course of action is to create a new family of your own."

I have.
And I am grateful.
Namaste.

OUR SACRED SELVES-words

I like words, they make me a jolly old fellow,
I like words, they make me feel smart,
and sometimes they make me feel mellow,

You say: make--me--feel--mel--low.........

These words have been rattling around in my head all morning.  They are paraphrased from an old Tom T. Hall song called, I LIKE BEER.

Wanta sing along?

OUR SACRED SELVES-12 STEPS

It sure feels like more than 12 steps since I started recovery in the early 1990's.  I can go spiraling back so easily, yet now I have the tools, if I use them.

I have a wonderful meeting that is just women but embraces all addictions.  Yesterday I learned that people pleasing is controlling.  Who would have thought?  I thought when I did nice things for folks I was just doing or saying nice things.  But my co-dependent roots still run very deep, and today I can see a little more clearly than yesterday. 

Today I know that God is with me and will help me stay in the present moment, if I ask Him.

I am asking.

OUR SACRED SELVES-ROADS

The reading yesterday, in my 12 step book For Today, reminded me of the long and winding road I have trod toward my recovery.  Today, the "path is not always smooth and comfortable, but it is leading me to freedom."

And today I am grateful.

HOME IS WHERE WE START FROM

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.
-Sigmund Freud

This quote from the page of Mary Englebright's weekend wisdom really has me thinking.  I first wonder what Freud's childhood was like, then quickly switch to my own.  My father was a good man.  But I don't think he ever "got me."  I truly think he didn't know "what to do with me." 

Being his only child, a daughter who he didn't even see for two years due to the war, I am sure he thought he loved me, but back then and even now I suppose, parents, especially fathers, are a bit scared of parenthood.  True, the first child is a dilemma, albeit a magical one.  We want everything to be perfect, everything done correctly. Exhausted love. We "learn" on our first child, and most times it is easier on those who come after.

But looking back, I see my mother in the starring role.  She was scout leader, cook, seamstress. Even protector.  I know I am who I am today because of her.

For you my children who did not have all the love and protection that you should have, I need you to know one thing.  You are so loved. 

I send my love and thanks for the many exellent fathers I now have in my life: sons, sons-in-law, husbands, uncles, brothers, neighbors, friends.  For all you folks who sometines don't know what to do with someone in you life, let me tell you: hugs and giggles.  That's all we really need.

BIG HUG.

OUR SACRED SELVES-home

This studio, in which  reside, holds the pieces of my soul that I have gathered and stored for the past 16 summers.  It may look messy to you but to me it is home.

My morning ritual consists of lighting candles.

I invite you to create a ritual that makes your space your home.

Happy Week-end.
Namaste

IAM

"You have no greater purpose, no lesser purpose, than to be host to the unfolding nature of holiness.  It is a beautiful expression that each of you bring in your own way: the reflection of the face of God, the reflection of the face of the Divine.  Each of you in this time are the harvest of holiness."

~Onada

I awoke this morning with last nights words of my "reluctant patient" in my head.  "We've got the power Ros, we've got the power!"!                                                                                                                                    

 

 I then read my October messages from Onada.  They reinforced in me that we all have the power to heal and be healed.  Not only the power but the responsibility to see our "absolute wholeness".

 



 

As I turned on the lights in my two MUSE altars that are still in progress, I saw magic.  The magic of love and friendship and enlightenment. I am so grateful that at this time in my life I have my art to give me solace and reprieve.

I want to share this hope and this love with you.

Nameste.


(Please forgive the alignment problems of my old and stubborn computer)

AND THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE BLUES

"I've got a blue love in my heart."
Hank Williams lyrics from19....

The truth is, I am living with a person with cancer, who doesn't seem to want to live, although he professes he does.  He is scared, granted.  He is tired of all these body invasions. Understood.  But he has only reached out to me once to do reiki on him, although I do sneak in a bit while he sleeps.

I have learned that I can talk to ones guardian angels, ones higher self, and ask for help FOR them.  That's the kind of intervention we need right now.

Will you help me?
Ask them to whisper in his ear.

I've lit my white candles.
Will You?

Nameste.

OUR SACRED SELVES

A good home must be made, not bought.
Joyce Maynard 


Today, my momma, Vivienne/Vee VanDemark Steele would have been 97 years old.  I think  I have failed her in absentia.  Perhaps that is not quite the right word but it seems to work for me.  She left me when Becky was just a baby.  I spent the subsequent years just holding my head up and trying to do the next right thing, many of which were probably not.

I have shared so much about my perfect Aunt Julie, my mom's sister, whose house was always a showcase, suitable for a decorating magazine.

Our house, in hind site, was equally wonderful.  It was filled with real antiques, many of which my momma saved when her siblings didn't want them..Because they were old.  A few examples are the hand-carved shovel and bench painted by my great grandfather.  My mom told me the story of the bench's use in the upstairs hall, on Heights Boulevard, so that the 8 kiddoes could sit on it waiting for their turn in the bathroom.

I also remember her teaching me to sew, and together we made my lavender check bedspread and curtains for our house at 1623 Hawthorne Street, in Houston, Texas.

My momma was really a storyteller and she repeated the same stories a lot.  Had she not I may not remember them. 

She always "threw" a New Year's Eve party and was a smashing cook.  I remember having smoked teal that my father, Ross Steele Jr., shot when hunting, probably on my birthday, because it was always the first day of hunting season.

I remember our Christmas table being spread with colorful food displayed on momma's milk glass collection.

All in all I think my momma did a pretty good job and it's time that I thanked her.

Thank you momma.  Happy birthday.

OUR SACRED SELVES-home

                                                                      

Home is where one starts from.
T.S. Eliot


More goddess wisdom.

Niskai is a water goddess that is celebrated on September 29th by the peoples of Western Europe. The themes she is noted for: cycles, time, luck, home and success.  She has "a threefold nature, exemplifying the full movement of time's wheel from birth and maturity to death and rebirth."
{365 GODDESS-Patricia Telsco}
The people in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales celebrate Quarter Days, to celebrate respect for each season. 

Of course the word rebirth caught my eye and imagination for I, and the loved ones closest to me, are working diligently and looking unceasingly for the well of light and love, that we can receive if we set the intention,  We must ask.

As human beings, we, especially women, have trouble asking for ourselves.  Oh, sure, we can wish special things for our children, ask for our family members to change, and so on.  But the 12 step maxim of fixing myself, whew, what an seemingly impossible task!

"What's wrong with me?" we ask.  We ask this silently of course, because if asked out loud we might  get an answer!

My recent return to the loving arms of my fellow addicts has shown me a room full of beautiful, caring, and best of all, RECOVERING women, who are there for me whenever I am brave enough to ask.

Today, in this season of fall blessings, I ask for myself, open-mindedness, love of myself and others and God's healing light. 

Nameste.

OUR SACRED SELVES-home

               Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
                                                                                                    Rainer Maria Rilke


At present, I am working on a series of goddesses/divas/angels/guides.  My studio is humming and the progress is slow, but wonderful.  I am reading a very frayed copy of 365 GODDESS, a daily guide to the magic and inspiration of the goddess, by Patricia Telesco.

Recently, my first "baby girl" and her tiny dog Fuji moved into my home for a healing transition.  We are co-existing happily I believe. This led me to the index, looking up goddesses that are keepers of the home.

I found Vesta, whose theme is home, love, fertility and peace.  In Roman mythology, Vesta "commands the sacred fires of the hearth, the heart of spiritual and emotional stability in you home."

This writing suggests breaking small bits of bread and spreading them outside so that birds can carry our wishes of harmony across the earth.  I can do that. I shall also light a white candle to lighten my darker places, both inside and out.

Will you join me, love?

OUR SACRED SELVES-play time

Yes I was happily lazy both Friday and Sunday.  Basking in the love and good
food of our Galveston kiddoes.  Although on Saturday Kim made me work: buying fun stuff at GSs and plant shopping.  Boy it was tough!

OUR SACRED SELVES-angels

It was a long hard day yesterday waiting for my loved one to take a new battery of tests.  When in doubt and fear I turn to my angels.

I resurrected this favorite book and reread highlighted passages.  It helped me stay on point which, for me, meant focus on low psa numbers (thanks Lee Ann) and pray. It took me out of myself and my fears and allowed me to focus on positive healing.

"What holds humans in limitation and restriction is attachment to the past, preference for the future, and avoidance of the now.  Do you wish to live a more enlightened life?  Come into this moment.  Be present."

"Go in peace and grow in knowing who you are."

ASK YOUR ANGELS
Alma Daniel, Timothy Wyllie, and Andrew Ramer

OUR SACRED SELVES-new life

 

There is nothing like new life and fresh young faces to give life the necessary love and energy to continue to live the very best way we know how.

 Papa and I are so fortunate to have our young-uns to keep US young.  We love you guys!

OUR SACRED SELVES

Good day,
This is our new great granddaughter Astryd.  Her papa thinks she's beautiful.

And this is Gunnar, the twin brother of Astryd.  I, GG, think he is beautiful and strong.  This is their first visit to GG and Papa's house and we are so happy and proud!!

ps:I just found my camera

OUR SACRED SELVES, a cat by any other name

Our cat smudge, named that because when she was born she had a tiny black smudge on her head, but is now smudgeless, found a safe place in my reiki room this morning.

The window is opened for the first fall breeze and the weather is fine.

In Cajun country most cats are called minou, kitty, so ours answers to either of those, when she has a mind to.

She is a very private cat and likes to keep to herself, much like her owners.  I enjoy that spot as a soft, safe place too, but in her case she thinks she is hidden.  She thinks I can't see her.

I'll have to try that!

OUR SACRED SELVES

As a mother, grandmother and brand-new great-grandmother I ask all of you, my fellow keepers of the heart, to join me in protecting our warrior Prince Harry in his deployment to Afghanistan. 

Together let us use our awesome faceted light to surround and envelope him and his fellow soldiers with love and hope and protection. 

Together we can expand our peace-loving presence to our beautiful planet.

Nameste.

OUR SACRED SELVES-We Deserve

I believe giving is different from serving. 

Serve- 1."to labor as a servant" Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, copyright 1956 (!)

In  my daily reading form Hope for Today, an Al-Anon publication, I read,"I chose to ignore my natural feelings of self-love and self worth because they didn't stop my parents from drinking or from criticizing me."

For so long this was true of me. I did not feel love and I did not truly know how to love. Now my family and friends help me to see the me I want to be.  The me I now choose to be.  I am mother, wife, artist, friend.

My co-dependent self does things for other people that I think they need. I try to fix, I serve others needs and I often disliked them and me when I am not successful.  I have no energy left to think positively.

My healing self sets boundaries and takes care of me first.  When I don't, there's not enough left of ME left to give.  When I do, my energy is boundless and my love is profound and meaningful.  I give from my heart's heart.

I DE-SERVE.  We deserve.

OUR SACRED SELVES

I have almost lost my new-found sacred self, having to continue to clean flood debris from hurricane Isaac.  However I remain so grateful that it didn't flood the shop and studio portions of our abode.  It was necessary to raise many parts and pieces "just in case."

Hopefully GYPSY VISION  will be up and dancing soon.

OUR SACRED SELVES

On a recent trip to Colorado, one of my Wilson hosts, Makensie, got me started on pinterest.  I must say I was a bit leery at first, since I don't like to spend much time on computer.

However, I am amazed and enthralled at each days/weeks offerings.  Today I feel like my fellow authors and painters are right here in my studio with me.  The photo of Simone de Beauvoir at Sartre's funeral and the self portrait of Pierre Bonnard....they could be me!  Not quite as good as meeting them at the corner bistro, but close, very close!

Bethony Salvon leaves me with a lovey quote, The French don't say, "I miss you," they say, "tu me manques."  "you are missing from me"!

And you are.

OUR SACRED SELVES

This week I have spent 24 hours plus drive time with my beloved eldest.  Some of the chatter from her side of the conversation I thought were repetitive.

Yesterday I mentioned that these thoughts were probably going over and over themselves inside of her head all day long.  She said,"I know Mom."  She had been journaling quite a bit lately about the book she is re-reading, on codependency.  I asked her to perhaps write these other thoughts down as well.  In my on-going, sometimes sporadic morning pages (as per Julia Cameron), when I write my rambling thoughts down, sometimes they won't come back to bite me later in the day.  She said she thought she could try that.

On awakening this morning, I realized that  the most successful journaling I do starts with writing down my questions followed by writing with my non-dominate hand for the "answers." 

Through the years I have written this dialogue with myself so often that my Higher Power and my higher self answer me so quickly that I don't even have to change hands.

I invite you to try this.

Sacred Self by Rosslyn Steele Bernard

"Befor you were born
------I knew you."
author unknown. From Mart Englebright's daily calendar/August 15, 2012


I wouldlike to say to all my beloved children how very much I still know you.  I love you so much.
Mom

Sacred Self

My hair is my veil of sorrow
My shield against the world
My anchor and my pride
And pride is sin-

I just unearthe this from my cleanup of studio.  Done decades ago.  I know now pride is not really pride but isolation.  And now I am better.

Sacred Self

"I had come to believe that in many ways, Shades of Hope represented the real world: a place where truth is told, the Self is sacred, and I wanted to absorb as much of this reality as I could, ensconce myself in it so that I could have it firmly embedded in my consciousness before I went back to the distractions, the hyper marketplace, the love song codependency, damaging belief systems that can make up daily life in America." Ashley Judd. All that Is Bitter & Sweet

Coming back to Louisiana from my brief sojourn in the mountains has been hyper/real/distracting to say the least.  I had somewhat retrieved my Sacred Self by having 3 weeks of almost total silence and art making.  Of course ending the day with a baseball game, my pacifier of choice.

Coming home I found my daughter in the same grief of loss as I have felt and sometime still do feel, in the above picture, holding on to myself because that is all that I had at that time.

I knew, as I now know, we are not alone, but doggone-it, it sometimes feels like it!

This "real" world can indeed be daunting, but family, friends, love and asking for help can sure make a difference.

Can you ask for what you need today?  If you will, I will.

Onada Wisdom

"I say breathe deeply into the spirit of IAM, and open yourself to see with the eyes of the God force.  See through the divine aspect of your own Being. ~Onada

Being a real artist at last.

The art I do today informs the art I do tomorrow, in a lovely circle of life and color.  Thank You Great Creator.

Since my last post, which seems like months ago, I have been struggling with a reluctant computer and just when I figured it out, my printer quit.  Two printers in fact.

When  I came home with the new printer, very similar to my old one, I was most excited!  Yet again another hurtle to jump.  I needed use snapfish to download new pics! Snapfish has been an absolute ironhead as my father used to call me!  They SAY they will send me a new password and don't. And the snapfish guy from Tim-buk-2 or wherever said he was sending me a temporary password and he too disappeared. No password, no help!!!!

Even my Guad candles have pooped out on me.

I decided to go into my stash of older photos and lo and behold there is Our Lady of Guadaloupe, the window in front of Our Lady of the Mountains church in Estes Park Colorado.  Hello Lady, I have missed you.

In hope of having something less boring and more enlightening to say in my next post, I bid you ado.  Until next time.

HOPE

A couple of weeks ago I "discovered" a plant that had been the same size and same color,green, on all my winter trips home to Louisiana.  I asked my neighbor who sometimes waters our nearby tomatoes if he had seen it bloom in previous summers.  "No. I never even noticed it," he replied.

Yesterday, while throwing the ball for Mattie, our Border Collie, I saw orangey red blossoms on the mysterious vine! It had waited patiently for me to finally be home long enough to feed and water it!

Our nanny has had this in her back yard for years and I have always loved it.  I must have planted it years ago.  It is a southern variation of trumpet honeysuckle called coral honeysuckle.

I believe my statue of Saint Fiacra, patron saint of gardeners, bas been back there watching and waiting all this time.

Merci.

On worthiness:"Because the mighty and the strong don’t hold women in high regard, we feel that we’re not worthy of being held in high regard. So we miss one of the greatest steps a woman can take, which is the chance to be on her own side; to be her own health advocate. You really have to believe you’re worthy. That is the first step."
Maya Angelou on O

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/blogs/Greens-For-Breakfast-Maya-Angelou-Talks-About-Womens-Health#ixzz1wSIkSOWD

Again, Maya Angelou's words have touched my heart in a placed I hadn't yet found.  I "know" I must take care of me first and sometimes knowing this I do better.  But it is hard for me, a woman, a mother, to not tell the "yous" in my life what I think you should do.  I want to fix you when I can barely fix myself.

For today I shall try to take care of me, one hour, one day at a time.  And then all I have to do is LOVE you.  And I do!

MUSIC

"As for the future, your task is not to foresee, but to enable it."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The excavation of my studio and writing corner continues, and today I found this small book given to me in August of 1995 by my eldest daughter.  In it I found words and feelings about music I had written while listening to a Barbra Streisand concert.

"...about the magic in the music....it feels like we never said goodbye."
I found out that life could be loving and gentle and I can enlarge the circle of love around me, little by little, until it encompasses the whole world.


"Don't rain on my parade." From Funny Girl
Old patterns keep me soaking wet! As a result of my upbringing, being raised by two alcoholics, my needs always came last.  From my mother's side I got artistic ability, and from my father's side I got a keen mind and sense of direction.  Yet the dysfunctional selfishness of the two of them kept me in a vacuum.

Not until I was grown with adult children of my own did I find Jungian dream analysis and 12 step support groups that helped me find my own voice.

Music and especially lyrics are important to me. They can take me out of myself and into the world.

Music memories:

"Cats fit on the window sill, children fit in the snow, why is it that I don't fit in any where I go?"

"What would I do with out my music?"

What music resonates with you?

Thanks my Boo.

Saturday's LA LA fest was a wonderful start to the new "full-time artist" me.  Sold a bit, visited with old friends and made new ones.  Hope to do more of this kind of thing before too long.

I wastn't too hard to get out of my art-girl-cave!

Well except maybe for the part where my chair broke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish you Joy.

I just found an old writing of mine that I had framed for inspiration.  This is before all the life changing events that I soon would experience: 9/11
                                                           My husbands prostate cancer
                                                           My study and practice of reiki
                                                           My first of three bouts with pneumonia

I'd like to share it .

I am a vessel waiting to be filled
I welcome overflow
The life-giving, life-expecting vein of light that fills me daily
If I ask

I transcend my past resistance
I rise above all obstacles
I give gratitude for the life God gave me

Love and light
Ros

March 6, 2000

While reading THE VEIN OF GOLD
by Julia Cameron
page 242, an invitation to write a positive prayer

I invite you to do the same.

MUSES

More muses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUSE: female inspiration for art and life.

MUSES

Happy mother's day to all my muses, the beautiful and intrepid women that are with me on my path to authenticity.

Nameste'

GYPSY SOUL

My Gypsy soul wants to go to Galveston and play, yet my true self thinks I should stay home and tend to my new and beautiful roses.

My Gypsy self wishes for treasure hunts along the beach and my higher soul dreams of making art at midnight and sleeping until noon.

I wonder which self I am right now.

Father Benifield's rose.

"The garden is a ground plot for the mind."
Written by Thomas Hill "more that four hundred years ago."

The Water Lily Cross
Anthony Eglin

Hello my darling peeps!

I hope you have missed me for I have missed me.  Yet I am doing this artist's journal/blog primarily for myself and my own growth and healing, and if you come along with me that's fabulous!

My computer has literally been covered up with overflow art.  In attempting to do another in a series of my little books for an upcoming art show at the Cajun Picasso's place, I have found treasure.  Many covers for a group of one-of -a-kind but similarly themed books.  Although they were begun in Colorado this past summer, and I had fairys in mind, because I always have fairys in mind when I am around the Wilsons, these have turned into JOURNAL DES ROSES with exquisite fabric flowers on the cover. The pervading colors are soft peach, pernod and ecru, and that's all I know for now.

Watch this space.

I have added a couple of additions to our family cookbook.

April 18, 2012
Found recipe in COOKING LIGHT that is yummy and definitely healthy-er:

QUICK BANANA BREAD

Combine:

¾ c white flour

¾ c whole –wheat flour

¼ c flaxseed meal

1 t baking powder

½ t salt

Combine:

1 c mashed ripe banana

2/4 c sugar

½ c plain low-fat yogurt

¼ c canola oil

 Mix with flour mixture and add ½ c walnuts

Coat loaf pan with cooking spray and pour in batter

Bake at 325* for one hour and 15 minutes or so.

TIME IN A BOTTLE

Since my watercolor class of a few weeks ago, I am attempting to draw more.  Especially faces at which I SUCK (sorry).

So of course, in keeping with The Secret and other things I have been given/reminded of lately, that the right thing always shows up when we need it, if we are ready to recieve, I must recieve.  I must have been WAY ready because my drawing textbook from Elmore Morgan's class just unearthed inself from somewhere in my piles of stuff!

My time in a bottle that just resufaced, remembers grueling hours sitting on a wooden bench, no back to lean on, and endless criricisms and little praise.

Perhaps the quote that really awakened me, this morning, from the forward of The Natural Way to Draw, by KIMON NICOLIDES, may resonate with you too.  "There is no such thing as getting more than you put into anything."

ouch.

SACRED BLESSINGS

Inspiration. a breathing in; any stimulus to creative thought or action.
WEBSTERS NEW WORD DICTIONARY


Some days I have words and somedays I don't.  I recently found an old notebook with art and words I'd like to share.

Ideas, feelings and emotions sometime seem to explode from within and sometimes niggle and ooky out slowly and unsurely.  A sketchbook or journal can nudge these nigglings and ookyings along.

The very act of putting pen to paper or brush to canvas can transport moods into visability.  Although this may seem hard at times, the rewards are great. Our thoughts and dreams deserve embodiment.

SACRED BLESSINGS

I used to hide out in his pretty smile
Hope it would shine me through the morrow
Until I learned the way it feels to be the man
Who sings the world a smile
Without a soul to share his sorrow

Michael's Song-Nancy Griffith


I am moved beyond measure by my oldest grandson, my Marine-boy's ability to excell.

He is a father and a husband and he brings joy to those around him.

On his Easter visit he talked about nutrition courses he has recently taken and he is so knowledgeable and sincere.  I would trust him with my life.  I do.

SACRED BLESSINGS

Last Friday Papa and I were priveliged to attend a day of remembrance and song in Gueydan, Louisiana. Nothing I can say could top these pictures taken that day!

BIG love.
.